After working with thousands of small business owners in the area of relationship building and consultative selling, there are particular fears that squarely present themselves as the ‘undeniably scariest’ for so many that are daring enough to go after their own business dream.

With near-perfect accuracy, it can be predicted that the average small business owner is going to fear a number of particular experiences over the majority of others when selling:

Rejection from their ideal buyer often tops the list. As humans we have a fear of being rejected as we have a habit of taking it personally (by mistake, mind you) and the evolution our brain suggests we will do anything to ensure we don’t feel ‘left out of the pack’.

After that comes the idea of pushing or forcing their product or service onto someone in order to close a sale they feel pressured into closing. This one of course being fair enough – the last thing any of us want to do is be pressured into something we don’t want to do. That’s why an alternate route that involves educating, supporting and solving problems with their buyer is suggested – its far more effective and feels a whole lot easier. (Click HERE to learn more about that.)

The third major fear experienced by those foreign to selling is the experience of ‘getting it wrong’ – they’re up for all that selling involves and fine with the inevitability of rejection, but they fear completely stuffing up what they’ve learned and losing the sale. This, of course, is all a part of the growth journey yet so many want the incredible results… and want them now!

All of these fears produce a feeling of nervousness or anxiety that a large majority of small business owners can empathise with at some point in their business career. 

But what if these nerves and anxiety weren’t such a bad thing? What if, in fact, they were the exact experiences the small business owner needs to be successful?

Because you see, we can make these feelings mean anything we want them to mean.

We can make them mean that because we’re nervous, we’re going to stuff it up even further when it comes to closing the sale. We can make it mean that because anxious, we’re going to get rejected again and again into the foreseeable future. We can make it mean that because we’re uncomfortable, we’ll make our buyer uncomfortable as we awkwardly propose that they… go for… the, second… option?

Or we can make these feelings mean something that will support us on our journey to becoming the best sales professional we can be, because all of these responses to the same situation are ultimately our choice at the end of the business day, and each choice we make has a consequence that will either build or destroy our experience of success.

So with literally an infinite amount of emotional response options available to us, what could or should we make these feelings of nerves and anxiety in the sales arena mean in order to approach this as effectively as possible?

Well… How about this?

“What a beautiful thing nerves are – that you would be so afraid that you can’t give back the value you have received from those in the same position before you.”

With this meaning in mind, the nerves and anxiety switch from being nervous for the sake of being nervous, to being nervous because you know you want to make it all about others.

You’ve received massive value in your life from others up until now, so it’s only fair that you’d be nervous about the inability (and the noble eagerness) to give it back to others.

You’ve experienced what it’s like to receive massive value – which is something to be eternally grateful for.

You’ve experienced what it feels like to help others, and you want to do more of that – which is something be eternally proud of.

You’ve experienced what it feels like to care about something so much that you’d get nervous about it – which is a feeling so many comfortably hide away from in this one shot at life we have.

It is that exact perspective on the selling, relationship-building and business supporting world that provides the humble and grateful foundation from which to build any small business worth putting the time, effort and energy into. 

What a beautiful thing nerves are.

What would you like to make them mean?

Darcy J Smyth is the lead trainer and creator of the Tonal Persuasion Method for Sales – the methodology designed to ensure you are closing sales without the dreaded ‘Hard Sell’ that turns so many buyers away in the modern business landscape.


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