Avid followers of the Tonal Persuasion Method for Sales know that in order for the method to have full effect, the entire conversation must be about the buyer.

It’s about what’s important to them. What matters to them. What problem can be solved for them.

It’s about what’s going to increase the quality of their day. What’s going to change their world. What’s going to impact their life.

Any time a sales pro is making it about themselves – no matter how much they think it may be helping – it can be practically guaranteed that it is not. Simple.

The equation is clear: The more the conversation is about the buyer, the more likely they are to buy.

And this is typically an aspect of the method that excites a lot of people aiming to close sales in their own business. They find it to be so far from any other idea they had around sales and the fact that its meant to be ‘pushy’ or ‘forceful’.

They become intrigued and enthusiastic as the sales aspect of their venture moves from one end of the spectrum that suggests selling is a manipulative money-grabbing necessity, to the other end of the spectrum comprised of a curious intent to help others realise their unique possibilities.

And then inevitably follows the question:

At what point is it OK to talk about myself? When can I tell my own story? I thought telling my own story was an effective strategy for relationship building?

And that’s true, it is.

Telling your own story to your audience is a highly attention-grabbing path to having your audience connect with you and your message – both in and out of the direct sales conversation.

It leads to not only new buyers coming on board with your business, but helps them remain there for extended periods of time too.

But there is a very specific ‘how’ and ‘when’ to do it appropriately within the sales conversation. And this requirement thankfully still ensures that even though what is being said in the moment may be about the salesperson, the buyer still feels it’s about… (yep!) … them.

The key isn’t in necessarily the content of what is said, but rather the context in which it is deployed.

Most people – when finally given permission to talk about themselves – will do so in a manner that involves some form of complaint, some form of opinion that they refuse to change, or some form of self-promotion that ensures other people know of their achievements.

And this of course is completely fine – it’s practically what makes up 97% of typical social interaction and discussion. Every single one of us loves to entertain the idea of gossip, justification and slight narcissism when the situation calls for it.

But the situation here is a sales conversation, and an impacting result needs to be achieved.

And for that, the right context is critical when given the chance to tell our own story or our own perspective on things.

So what exactly is the right context then?

The right context is one where you were asked for your opinion, recommendation or story.

Simply assuming it’s your position or right to let your buyer know what your perspective of the world is, is one of the fastest ways to lose rapport currently (and unfortunately) in use. When given the stage by your buyer to share your side of things however, it can be a highly effective position to direct your buyer’s mind towards a purchase.

When asked to provide a perspective, deliver with certainty in a way that ensures they know you have their best interest at heart and you can share your perspective until your heart is content. 

The right context is one where your story shows how you overcame the same problem that your buyer is currently experiencing.

Telling your buyer about a particular problem you have that’s not even close to the context in which you are selling is sales suicide. However – if you have experienced something similar – and are prepared to use their language in describing the similarities between your position and theirs, then it is going to be beneficial to let them know a little bit about your story.

It allows a belief to shift that may have been previously held them back from buying, and this is not only beneficial for the buyer, but essential if they are to feel congruent in buying from you – the one they are now entering a business relationship with.

The right context is one where the content always links back to them in some form or another.

After receiving the permission to speak about themselves, so many sales professionals come undone when they finish saying their bit and then simply leave it at that. Remember to always ask a question that ensures your buyer understands how your story, perspective or opinion relates back to them.

Does that make sense? Is there anything we’re missing here?

What else can we cover for you here?

Without checking in to see if your perspective landed with them, you might as well look at the ground when you speak and cover your ears when they begin to reply reply.

Even when it’s about you for a moment, it needs to then switch back to being about … Yep.



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